How I went from the heartbreak of a broken engagement at the age of 30 to discovering the secret to drama-free love and helping hundreds of men and women from all around the world make better sense of love (and finding real love myself)
Are you wondering if I have the ability, knowledge and street cred to help you?
Perhaps you’re wondering if you’ll ever get over this person or this heartbreak.
Or maybe you’re looking for ways to get back together with your ex (or questioning if it’s just time to move on).
Or maybe you’re simply asking yourself why you keep attracting the wrong people.
Either way, you’re here because you know there’s got to be a better way to get your love life on track.
So whether you've tried muscling through your romantic issues in the hopes that, if you just give it enough time, things will sort themselves out (only to find that they haven’t) or you’ve tried talking to your friends and family, but you feel you need the objective perspective of a professional...
You’re in the right place.
Need help healing your heart? Learn more about The BetterBreakups Method & my Breakup Coaching services
Want to get back together with your ex? Learn more about my Win Your Ex Back services
Frustrated with the modern dating world? Learn more about my Dating Strategy services
Hi, I’m Natalia
Breakup Coach & Dating Strategist
Naturally, I'm often asked, "how did you end up doing this?"
Although I've had many relationships, two major heartbreaks brought me to the work I do today.
The Back Story
This is the shortened version of my story, and you can read the full story here.
2000: Losing My Dignity
I met my first real love when I was 19 (let's call him Boyfriend #1). We had a powerful connection, and we believed we were soulmates. For the first year, things between us couldn’t have been more perfect. Then I came across a photograph that revealed he had cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend. At 20 years old, I was devastated and I didn’t know how to make sense of this betrayal. Put simply, it brought out the worst in me.
We stayed together, but this betrayal unraveled me and brought out an intense jealousy I had never known. I became obsessed and consumed by what had happened. I was hurt, angry and even felt vengeful.
Yet, despite all of this, Boyfriend #1 and I always found our way back to one another because our connection was so powerful.
In 2004, we moved to Taiwan, hoping the fresh start would help us move past all the mistakes we’d made with one another. Yet, I shortly after arriving I discovered that he had a full on affair in the months prior. To say I was devastated would be an understatement. I felt broken.
We spent the next three years in a toxic on-and-off-again relationship. Without the necessary support and distance, it was impossible for us to stay broken up long enough to let go and move on.
Looking back now, the worst part of this seven-year relationship was that I felt like I lost my dignity.
Today, I can better understand why I stayed with Boyfriend #1 for years longer than I should have. I believed he was my soulmate, my one true love, and I was terrified that if I walked away, I might never meet anyone else I "loved" as much and would end up regretting it for the rest of my life.
It’s a familiar story, isn’t it?
2010: The Better Breakup
Years later in the summer of 2008, I met the man that would quickly become my fiancé (let's call him Boyfriend #2). If I had had a “list” (and most of us do), he was everything I ever thought I wanted. We had an instant connection, and I thought he was “the one” I’d been waiting for.
It didn’t take long for our passionate relationship to become fiery as our personalities and our core values began to conflict. Our relationship began to feel oppressive as jealousy and possessiveness took over.
Without realizing it, I had completely lost myself in the relationship, yet I also felt trapped, unable to even entertain the thought of leaving.
Until one day in November of 2010 when we had a terrible disagreement and in that moment, I felt a wave of clarity and strength come over me, and I knew. That very same night I packed up a suitcase and left.
It all happened so fast.
88 Dates, a $10,000 Coach, and The Scientific Theory that Ultimately Changed Everything
After my engagement ended just as I was turning 30, I did the only thing I knew to do - I got a therapist, bought all the relationships books I could find, and committed to myself that I was going to turn my love life around.
I vowed I would not repeat the heartache and the drama of my 20s in my 30s.
Over the next five years, from 2011 to 2016, I went on 88 dates (I had a spreadsheet and everything), read over a 100 relationship books, worked with three different therapists, had astrological and tarot readings, and even hired a life coach for a year for $10,000. I was a woman on a mission.
But not everyone saw it that way. I was called a serial dater, a boyfriend hopper, and god knows what else! From the comfort of their own relationships, many people would ask me, "why can't you just be happy alone?"
Discovering the Secret to Drama-Free Love
Then in 2015, during a therapy session (with my third therapist), I felt like I was having the same conversation that I had with her every week and frustrated I asked her, "Kerry, what do you think? What's your opinion about my situation?"
And her answer sent me down a path to a scientific theory that was the missing piece in what felt like my quest. And once I started learning more about this “secret”, my entire love life started to make sense. I understood why I was attracted to all the wrong people, and why I never felt “attracted” to the right ones.
From there, things started falling into place.
So, how am I doing now?
In the summer of 2017, after hearing my story, Scott Simon from NPR asked me in such a heartfelt way, "so how are you doing now?"
I was somewhat surprised by the question, but it made me smile. I can understand that given the uniqueness of my work, people are naturally curious about how I’m doing after so many romantic hardships.
Two years after discovering the “secret,” just as I had turned 35, I FINALLY got my shit together and committed myself to the greatest, easiest, and most fulfilling relationship of my life. No, it’s not perfect, and that’s ok. It felt like all the dates, all the heartbreak, all of the work and researching - everything - had prepared me to finally accept the love I’d always wanted, needed, and deserved.
Mr. T and I are living happily in Toronto, Canada. We got married in February! And we have a dog.
The Origins of Lovistics
"This Toronto-based visionary has re-imagined healing and the path to overcoming heartbreak. A delicate hand with a firm grip on how to move forward and break from both the patterns and the past; helping those trying to get over a breakup, thinking about one, or even avoiding an unnecessary one."
- Betterment Award Winner, 2019
Love has been my greatest teacher. The lessons I learned about my relationship patterns forced me to look at myself as the common denominator in my relationships and guided me to discover theories about human attachment that have changed my life. I’m grateful to have grown through my experiences to have become a better person and partner.
I founded Lovistics in 2013 as an organization dedicated to helping men and women make better sense of their love relationships in order to have healthier, truly loving relationships.
It is my mission to share the incredible information I have discovered along the way with the world as I help men and women through their breakups, getting back together with their ex, and their dating lives.
Professional Bio
Professional Qualifications
ICF Certified Professional Coach
Bachelor of Arts Honours (Gender Studies), Queen's University 2004
Bachelor of Education, Trent University 2007
Yoga Teacher Certification, Yoga Therapy Toronto 2011
Interested in Working Together?
To learn more about working together, please visit my services page for more details.
Learn more about my breakup, recoupling or dating strategy services.