What’s your relationship with dating? It’s been my experience that most people view dating as a chore, and it’s not uncommon for me to hear “I hate dating.” Of course dating certainly can be a challenge, even daunting. But really, do you hate the process of finding someone to love? When you stop and think, it makes little sense to bring this attitude to the process of finding and developing this, the most important relationship in your life. Dating with this negative mindset can lead to dating self-sabotage. If you’re single and want an amazing, uplifting partnership, why not begin by examining your dating attitude? Not only will you improve your chances of actually finding the love that you seek, but you’ll also enjoy the process along the way.

I love dating! No really, I do! However, this wasn’t always the case. Years ago, I was getting back into the dating scene following the end of a long-term relationship, and I didn’t know where to start. Six months into aimless dating, I became frustrated and I dove into MASSIVE DATING, going on an least 1 to 2 dates a week. One Saturday I even had 3 coffee dates in a row! I had reasoned with myself that if I simply played the numbers, I was bound to stumble upon the relationship I sought after. This made for a lot of disappointment and frustration for all sorts of reasons.

After months and months of this exhausting dating strategy, I decided to try something different. I shifted my mindset from being attached to my hopes and expectations to one of curiosity and excitement about the other people I was meeting. Who was this date? What was their story, their passion, and what could they lose themselves doing? Everyone has a story—one that goes beyond what they do for a living, their age, or their grammar—qualities upon which many people while dating fixate and pass judgment.  Using this dating strategy, I discovered that at the very least, I could have a pretty great conversation with almost anyone.

So, if you’ve been holding onto some negativity about dating, and you’re open to trying something different, make a choice to shift your dating mindset to focus on the curiosity and excitement. And you’ll find, as I did, that as you learn to connect with people, and you’ll naturally fall in love with your dating life.