Although there's never a good time to go through a breakup, holiday heartache has got to be some of the worst.
As a breakup coach, I can't help but think about the people experiencing heartache around the holidays. For as joyful as this time of year can be, it can also be equally as painful for those whose hearts are aching.
Yet, as much as this time can hurt, there are strategies to help to alleviate some of the pain.
If the upcoming Valentine’s Day makes you feel worse, you are not alone. I've been there, and so have most people that you know. If you’re hurting this Valentine’s Day and could use a few ideas to either get you through this hallmark holiday (including naming a cockroach after your ex!) or to just help you enjoy it on your own, this article is for you.
Breakups are a part of life. Yes, they’re sad, but they can also be for the best, and in some cases even cause for celebration. In the same way losing a job that wasn’t a great fit can be a blessing, so is a breakup. In this blog, I share 7 tips on how to break up with someone in the healthiest way, with love.
Valentine’s Day is meant to be a light-hearted day to express our love with thoughtful gestures and gifts, yet, I often hear many people tell me - whether they’re in a relationship, single, or heartbroken - that they find Valentine’s’ Day quite stressful. Not surprisingly, there’s actually such a thing as “Valentine’s Day stress” and it can negatively impact emotional well-being. And more than ever, given that we’re in the middle of a global pandemic, we need connection. This is why I’m encouraging you to try and approach this Valentine’s Day in a stress-free manner because love is NOT canceled.
I’m no stranger to relationship drama. When I had an engagement end before my thirtieth birthday, I turned to therapy, worked with dating coaches, and started reading all I could about what could have gone wrong—and what I could do to make it right. And although everything I learned was good in theory, it lacked the missing piece that could tie together all of my experiences and link them back to something I could use to improve myself personally and in relationships. It wasn’t until after years of searching that I found what had been missing.
Whether you’re nursing a broken heart (or you’ve broken a heart,) or you’re simply a music lover - these playlists are for anyone who has loved, lost and loved again. I am thrilled to share my collection of breakup playlists is finally out! I have been carefully crafting these playlists over the last few months to go along with the 3 phases of a breakup - sadness, anger, and empowerment.
Over the last few years, I've identified six primary reasons why couples break up. Subsequently, these are also the six essential elements couples need to have a healthy, loving, and fulfilling relationship. And yes, you can have it all.
Deciding whether you should stay or go, can be one of the hardest decisions you will ever make.
A few months ago I came across some research that speaks to the dilemma of deciding whether to stay or go. Researchers at the University of Utah, in collaboration with researchers from the University of Toronto, had found the top 50 reasons why couples stay together or split up. They narrowed it down to a list of 27 reasons when people would stay in a relationship and 23 reasons why they would leave. Samantha Joel, the lead author of the study and her colleages were surprised at how many mixed feelings couples had about their relationships.
Understandably, many people find it helpful to hear about how I survived the year that followed my broken engagement in 2011. I totally get it. You want to know that you're not alone. As someone who has been through more heart break than I'd care to admit, I have some good news. Not only can you survive this heart break, but you rest assured, that if you take care of yourself, and work through this experience, you can emerge happier person and find a more fulfilling relationship than the one you're currently missing.
We talked to a breakup coach about exit plans, dealing with breakups on social media, and whether it’s better to be the dumper or the dumpee.
Breaking up with someone, if you have any semblance of a soul, is not a pleasant experience. How do you do it? Do you really need to meet in a public place and look them in the eye when you break their heart? How honest do you need to be for them to get the idea that you never, ever want to sleep with them again? It's questions like these that making ghosting so tempting. But you don't need to go through this experience alone, you can take your problems to a professional.
Dating after a divorce can be both intimidating, and an exciting new opportunity. Depending on how long you were in a committed partnership, it may be years since you were last single. You are now older, have a lot more responsibilities than you did in your early 20s, and may have children. That said, there are a lot of positive things about “mature” dating. There are numerous reasons for divorce, but one of the most common is that partners have grown apart, with either one or both partners expressing changes in their values and/or direction in life. And so, as hard as it is to have a relationship end (even when it’s for good reasons) having the opportunity to date to find a new partner who may be a much better match can be a wonderful thing. Add to this, that most older women would say they know themselves better, have developed better relationship skills, and are more established in their careers.
As a Dating Coach, I have a lot of conversations with single men and women about what they are looking for in a potential match. Everyone wants to meet and be with someone they are attracted to. Yet, attraction is subjective; what one person finds attractive another may not. That is except for two qualities I hear over and over again - and no, it has nothing to do with height, age, or cup size! Both men and women rank “fit” and “passion” high on their lists of characteristics they find most attractive in the opposite sex. What I find most intriguing is that many of these same people aren’t necessarily fit or living passionately themselves, though they wish they were.
If you’re feeling heartbroken this holiday season, I hope hearing about my worst Christmas (and New Year’s) offers you some support, hope, and lightness at a time you're probably not feeling very jolly. You are not alone.
If you’ve never heard of a “Love Coach” just think of the movie Hitch. In the movie, Will Smith helped Kevin James' character get out of his own way to find love. That will give you a snap shot of what love coaching is, even though it's so much more.
What’s your relationship with dating? It’s been my experience that most people view dating as a chore, and it’s not uncommon for me to hear “I hate dating.” Of course dating certainly can be a challenge, even daunting. But really, do you hate the process of finding someone to love? When you stop and think, it makes little sense to bring this attitude to the process of finding and developing this, the most important relationship in your life. Dating with this negative mindset can lead to dating self-sabotage. If you’re single and want an amazing, uplifting partnership, why not begin by examining your dating attitude? Not only will you improve your chances of actually finding the love that you seek, but you’ll also enjoy the process along the way.