We talked to a breakup coach about exit plans, dealing with breakups on social media, and whether it’s better to be the dumper or the dumpee.

Breaking up with someone, if you have any semblance of a soul, is not a pleasant experience. How do you do it? Do you really need to meet in a public place and look them in the eye when you break their heart? How honest do you need to be for them to get the idea that you never, ever want to sleep with them again? It's questions like these that making ghosting so tempting. But you don't need to go through this experience alone, you can take your problems to a professional.

Dating after a divorce can be both intimidating, and an exciting new opportunity. Depending on how long you were in a committed partnership, it may be years since you were last single. You are now older, have a lot more responsibilities than you did in your early 20s, and may have children. That said, there are a lot of positive things about “mature” dating. There are numerous reasons for divorce, but one of the most common is that partners have grown apart, with either one or both partners expressing changes in their values and/or direction in life.  And so, as hard as it is to have a relationship end (even when it’s for good reasons) having the opportunity to date to find a new partner who may be a much better match can be a wonderful thing. Add to this, that most older women would say they know themselves better, have developed better relationship skills, and are more established in their careers.

As a Dating Coach, I have a lot of conversations with single men and women about what they are looking for in a potential match.  Everyone wants to meet and be with someone they are attracted to. Yet, attraction is subjective; what one person finds attractive another may not.  That is except for two qualities I hear over and over again - and no, it has nothing to do with height, age, or cup size!  Both men and women rank “fit” and “passion” high on their lists of characteristics they find most attractive in the opposite sex.  What I find most intriguing is that many of these same people aren’t necessarily fit or living passionately themselves, though they wish they were. 

If you’re feeling heartbroken this holiday season, I hope hearing about my worst Christmas (and New Year’s) offers you some support, hope, and lightness at a time you're probably not feeling very jolly. You are not alone.

If you’ve never heard of a “Love Coach” just think of the movie Hitch.  In the movie, Will Smith helped Kevin James' character get out of his own way to find love. That will give you a snap shot of what love coaching is, even though it's so much more. 

What’s your relationship with dating? It’s been my experience that most people view dating as a chore, and it’s not uncommon for me to hear “I hate dating.” Of course dating certainly can be a challenge, even daunting. But really, do you hate the process of finding someone to love? When you stop and think, it makes little sense to bring this attitude to the process of finding and developing this, the most important relationship in your life. Dating with this negative mindset can lead to dating self-sabotage. If you’re single and want an amazing, uplifting partnership, why not begin by examining your dating attitude? Not only will you improve your chances of actually finding the love that you seek, but you’ll also enjoy the process along the way.